April Fool's Gift Guide

Heroin and Cocaine Salt and Pepper Shakers

Wed, 05 Nov 2008 00:47:31 GMT

We know salt and pepper are supposed to add kick to a meal, but do they, really? Everybody has salt and pepper shakers on their table -- not exactly rare breeds, are they? So spice up your meal with heroin and cocaine, instead! Well, not really. These shocking shakers only say they house illicit substances -- what you put in them is up to you. If nothing else, they certainly will enhance dinner table conversation.

Tabasco Personalized Gallon Jug

Wed, 31 Dec 2008 05:35:30 GMT

There’s an easy way to spice up a gift: Give hot sauce. Lots of it. Tabasco super-sized their mini bottles with huge gallon jugs. Choose one of five tastebud-kicking flavors (original, chipotle, garlic, green or habanero), and then write a personal message up to 20 characters, which will be inscribed on the label. The recipient will think of you every time his eyes water from his Tabasco-laced scrambled eggs.

Subversive Cross Stitch by Julie Jackson

Mon, 20 Apr 2009 19:31:13 GMT

Cross stitch patterns generally feature things like teddy bears, hearts, and outmoded aphorisms. But Julie Jackson gives kitsch a kick up the #@% (as she might say) with this book. Its patterns contain phrases like “This Place Sucks,” “Bite Me,” and the seasonally appropriate “Happy Fucking Holidays.” Individual patterns are also available through her website. Perfect for the girl with the mouth of a sailor and the soul of a master craftsperson.

Bungee Bird Feeder

Tue, 05 May 2009 20:46:39 GMT

Birds are adrenaline junkies. Think about it—they spend most of their time in the air, have no fear of heights, and swoop and dive with ease. So they might as well dine with someone like-minded, i.e. this bungee bird feeder. This dude (cleverly constructed out of birdseed) might not be blessed with the gift of flight, but at least he can spend quality time with those who are.

Charging Station

Fri, 15 May 2009 03:38:25 GMT

Look at this miraculous planter we found that grows electronic devices! Just add water and you have yourself brand new iPod in four to six weeks (two to four weeks if you just want a Nano)—how awesome is that?!? Ok, we jest. What this thing does do is hide unsightly cords and chargers and, yes, creates the optical illusion that you are growing media devices alongside ornamental grass. Still kind of awesome, right?

Sweet Meats

Wed, 24 Jun 2009 03:14:02 GMT

Plush toys aren’t really an option when it comes to guys—when was the last time you considered gifting your boyfriend a teddy bear? These, however, are different, because they come in the shape of ham, a pork chop, or a t-bone steak. They can serve as a pillow or simply as a grin-worthy decorative object. Plus, they are pet-friendly, so in a pinch they can double as dog toys.

Little Fisherman Fishbowl

Thu, 16 Jul 2009 03:16:15 GMT

Is it cruel to make fish stare death in the face every day? Probably, but it sure does make a funny fishbowl. This typical glass bowl is ornamented with a guy who looks like he is fishing for his dinner.

Bacon Soap

Mon, 24 Aug 2009 20:50:46 GMT

Not just for butchers, this marbled bacon soap leaves you clean and smelling like a greasy-spoon diner. The soap, which captures the aroma of bacon frying in a pan, comes in a vintage-looking tin labeled "Bacon Soap." You know, in case the hungry dogs chasing you didn’t give it away.

Ferdinand Letterpress Cards

Thu, 08 Oct 2009 22:47:36 GMT

No matter what the occasion or sentiment, Ferdinand Letterpress has you covered with their collection of cute cards, which range from sweet (Luv You!) to congratulatory (so f------g proud of you!) to ah…blunt (you bastard).

Growing Ring

Fri, 16 Oct 2009 02:36:18 GMT

Eco-friendly friends will love this ring, which is about a "green" as you can get. In place of traditional bling, the setting contains real grass. All recipients need to do is give it a spritz of water every so often to keep it looking beautiful.

2 Carat Cup in Platinum

Fri, 08 Jan 2010 22:57:33 GMT

Diamonds are a girl’s best friend, but what is a perpetually sleep-deprived girl’s best friend? Coffee. And now you can give her both at once with the über clever 2 Carat Cup--the coffee mug with a Swarovski-encrusted ring as the handle. Even better, it comes packaged in an oversized jewelry box so the first thing she will see is the ring. But don’t worry about her being disappointed when she realizes it's not genuine bling--just remember, jewelry can’t cure a hangover. Coffee, on the other hand, can.

Retro Headset for iPhone

Sat, 23 Jan 2010 01:04:36 GMT

Remember when phones where so big they had keys you didn't need a microscope to see? Had to be plugged into a wall? Could cause bodily harm if you needed them to? Well, you can help a nostalgic friend get back to the good ol' days with this retro headset. They can simply plug it into their cell phone and kazaam! Instant 1975.

BookBook

Fri, 29 Jan 2010 23:22:24 GMT

What's old is new again (and better than ever) with BookBook. This may look like a very serious and scholarly volume of literature from days of yore, but it's actually a MacBook case. And don't be fooled by its vintage appearance, BookBook is tough--it's made out of leather with a padded interior and a rigid spine for added defense. Guaranteed to keep recipients' Macs safe, sound, and looking cool.

Dumb Blonde's Tape Measure

Thu, 04 Mar 2010 03:53:44 GMT

We'll let you in on a secret: This tape was developed by some of the world's top industrial designers specifically for Paris Hilton, who recently decided to renovate one of her 23 walk-in closets and insisted on taking the measurements herself. OK, not really, but you get the idea: It's stupefyingly simple to use (and also pretty funny).

Gift Genius: EDITOR'S PICKS