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What's the Occasion:
Anti-Valentine's Day
Who's the Recipient?
Recipient
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Image of Blue Barnhouse Letterpress

Blue Barnhouse Letterpress

It's hard to find a card company that has something for every occasion--so thanks to Blue Barnhouse for managing it. Its humorous offerings include everything from birthdays ("you're old as shit") to surgery ("happy colonos... Read More

$5

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Image of I Don't Care About Your Band: What I Learned from Indie Rockers, Trust Funders, Pornographers, Felons, Faux-Sensitive Hipsters, and Other Guys I've Dated, by Julie Klausner

I Don't Care About Your Band: What I Learned from Indie Rockers, Trust Funders, Pornographers, Felons, Faux-Sensitive Hipsters, and Other Guys I've Dated, by Julie Klausner

This honest and hilarious book takes you through Julie Klausner's love life and the string of crazy musicians/trustafarians/hispters she's dated. If you know someone who hasn't dated one of those types of guys (not very lik... Read More

$11

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Image of Bedside Gun Table Lamp

Bedside Gun Table Lamp

What do you use to fight fear of the dark? Light. And a gun (at least, in this case). This lamp will shine brightly so recipients can catch up on their reading, and the handgun-shaped stand will scare off under-the-bed mons... Read More

$948

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Image of Absinthe Floss

Absinthe Floss

For those who love to party the night away and, accordingly, hate getting up in the morning, gift Absinthe floss. Though users won't experience any of the effects of Absinthe, they will get to enjoy its traditional anise fl... Read More

$6

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Image of WTF Snowglobe

WTF Snowglobe

Sure, Christmas is about Santa and reindeer and snowmen, but it also always contains a good dose of WTF. As in, Great Aunt Norma got drunk and passed out at the dinner table, WTF? My mom gave me another set of shoe horns, W... Read More

$12

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Image of Crazy New Sh*t Rug by Dan Golden

Crazy New Sh*t Rug by Dan Golden

Have a conservative friend that you are always encouraging to be more adventurous, try new things, etc.? Give them this rug to remind them that in life, there are two paths: the one that features the Same Old Shit, and the ... Read More

$2,999

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Image of The Shining DVD

The Shining DVD

If you had to choose just one, it would be hard to say what would be Stanley Kubrick's masterpiece, but this one might just be it. In our opinion, "The Shining" is the most perfectly executed horror film of all time. Read More

$8

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Image of Black Gothic Candle

Black Gothic Candle

There is nothing more eerily mesmerizing than a black candle. Read More

$5

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Image of Ferdinand Letterpress Cards

Ferdinand Letterpress Cards

No matter what the occasion or sentiment, Ferdinand Letterpress has you covered with their collection of cute cards, which range from sweet (Luv You!) to congratulatory (so f------g proud of you!) to ah…blunt (you ba... Read More

$4

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Image of Perky Jerky

Perky Jerky

Caffeine. Meat. Both truly excellent in their own right, but what if their powers could be combined? Well, some fellas already thought of that, and the result is Perky Jerky. It’s beef jerky that contains the welcomed... Read More

$5

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Image of Love is a Four-letter Word

Love is a Four-letter Word

Love, or should we say, “L@#*” isn’t always about romance and lust—particularly when that love comes to a screeching halt. In Love is a Four-letter Word, a gaggle of authors literarily re-live their ... Read More

$11

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Image of Glass Tank

Glass Tank

Refilling your glass at a party is a pain—you have to take a break from conversations, give up your spot on the sofa, and, worst of all, you won’t be able to continue drinking until you have fulfilled your missi... Read More

$339

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Image of Wicked Plants: The Weed that Killed Lincoln's Mother and Other Atrocities--

Wicked Plants: The Weed that Killed Lincoln's Mother and Other Atrocities--

Sure, plants seem all nice and pleasant, but sometimes their outward appearances hide the vicious killers within. Take Monkshood, for example—easily mistaken for an edible herb, but will paralyze your nerves, lower yo... Read More

$13

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Image of What I Know Now: Letters to My Younger Self

What I Know Now: Letters to My Younger Self

Powerful, successful women including Maya Angelou, Madeleine Albright and Cokie Roberts wrote letters teaching life lessons to their younger selves for this inspirational tome.  It’s a natural gift for a mother t... Read More

$10

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Image of Fighter: The Fighters of the UFC by Reed Krakoff

Fighter: The Fighters of the UFC by Reed Krakoff

As far as we can tell, Ultimate Fighting Championship features a combination of a lot of different fighting styles, with not a whole helluva lot of rules—which makes the fights, and the men who participate, an interes... Read More

$29

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Image of What Would Keith Richards Do? Daily Affirmations from a Rock and Roll Survivor

What Would Keith Richards Do? Daily Affirmations from a Rock and Roll Survivor

Forget Jesus. What you need to ask yourself is, “What would a legendary rocker with a yen for booze and hard living who has managed to reach the other side of 60 relatively unscathed do?” This book helps answer ... Read More

$11

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Image of Book of Secrets

Book of Secrets

Heidi Fleiss had her little black book, and we have ours: The Book of Secrets. It’s certainly not as racy, but does contain a surprising number of mysterious and little-known curiosities, from government cover-ups (co... Read More

$10

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Image of Please Kill Me by Legs McNeil and Gillian McCain

Please Kill Me by Legs McNeil and Gillian McCain

One of the most important facets of being a hipster is knowing who said what to whom, when. This is an insight into the New York punk scene beginning with the crowning of Burroughs as the Godfather of Punk and ending in the... Read More

$11

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Image of Flatte Black Nailpolish

Flatte Black Nailpolish

For those who want to appear bad-ass, but are too wussy to endure the pain of tattoos or body piercings, this nail polish is just the trick. It only takes one coat to get a black matte effect, and it transforms to a glossy ... Read More

$22

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Image of "I Hate Cuddling" Pillowcases

"I Hate Cuddling" Pillowcases

Hey, some of us just aren’t as touchy-feely as others -- which is why we love these deceptively cute pillowcases that pay tribute to personal space. Now if we only could find pillowcases that say "Don’t hog the ... Read More

$22

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Image of Snapped: Most Notorious

Snapped: Most Notorious

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Especially if said woman has access to a butcher knife. Give your favorite lovelorn lady a taste of her own crazy medicine with Oxygen network’s true crime series Snapped, featu... Read More

$20

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Image of Comfort Station Je Ne Regrette Rein Necklace

Comfort Station Je Ne Regrette Rein Necklace

Have friends who have the tendency to dwell too much on the past? Gift this necklace. The cool black porcelain pendant proudly quotes Edith Piaf’s song “Je Ne Regrette Rien (I regret nothing).” It will be ... Read More

$210

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Image of Love Breakup Handkerchief

Love Breakup Handkerchief

Want to break up with your significant other, but are too non-confrontational/lazy to do it? Just give them this hankie. It is printed with a bunch of cliché brush-offs (it’s not you, it’s me; you’r... Read More

$19

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Image of (r1)¹ Whiskey

(r1)¹ Whiskey

What do you prescribe for heartache? Some people would say laughter is the best medicine -- and while we don’t doubt its healing qualities, we would also recommend a nice big dose of Kentucky anesthesia. Like this (r?... Read More

$60

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Image of Belle de Jour

Belle de Jour

Have a gal pal who’s depressed about her single status? Gift this movie to prove that not all marriages are bliss. Catherine Deneuve plays a disaffected wife who is bored by her tepid relations with her husband. Now, ... Read More

$14

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Image of The Ex Voodoo Knife Set

The Ex Voodoo Knife Set

We do love a good multi-tasker. Like this guy to your left. In good times he is a handy knife holder, but when a romance goes sour he doubles as a voodoo doll on which your lovelorn friend can take out all of her rage. ... Read More

$70

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Image of Despair Inc. Bittersweets

Despair Inc. Bittersweets

Peaked at 17. Annulment. Dignity free. I got sober. What are these phrases from? Britney Spears’ abridged biography, you say? Good guess, but, alas, no. They are from Despair, Inc.’s Bittersweets. The only thing... Read More

$20

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Image of Just Say No to Love Necklace

Just Say No to Love Necklace

This tacky bauble is a fun knick knack to hand out on V-Day and will be well-received by friends, or even randos at a bar. Think of the necklace as Mardi Gras beads with an anti-sappiness vibe. Just don't expect anyone to l... Read More

$2

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Image of Your Ex is Such a Fool Card

Your Ex is Such a Fool Card

Want to cheer up a newly single pal this V-Day?  We suggest sending them one of these … maybe with an unflattering shot of their ex inside. Slight malevolence aside, we're pretty sure the image of a dunce hat in... Read More

$4

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Image of V is for Vodka Greeting Cards

V is for Vodka Greeting Cards

Our sentiments exactly. A set of these cards will make a chuckle-inducing gift for your most bitter friend (we suggest you follow them up with a martini). They're also the ideal invitation to an anti-Valentine's day party (... Read More

$17

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